(Insert Title Here)
by Bard-of-the-90s
Summary: Decided to give those old (reader inserts) a shot, with just a bit of a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure feel. Includes quite a few countries. Nothing amazing, that's for sure. Most of this will be just typed and posted straight here; there's a lot to do. Rated T for later chapters.


The Bard has been into Hetalia lately (i.e. I've watched all five seasons and the movie, listened to more than half of the character CDs, and read just about all of the webcomic I can scrape out of the internet). Recently, I decided to peruse through fanfiction, and found a new (to the Bard) genre of storytelling: reader inserts. Guess what curious little cucumber decided to give it a shot? Don't call me a cucumber, you weirdo. The Bard owns nothing. Ever.

INSERT TITLE HERE

"Hey!" You groan, your brain feeling fuzzy. "Hey! You there!" Who's yelling? You open your (colour) eyes and blink several times at the blinding sun above you. You're outside? "Hey, girl! Are you okay?"

'"Girl"? That's kind of rude…' You roll over, and then sit up with a start. You can tell you are indeed outside, on a grassy hill in fact, but everything seems…flat? How can this be…? The sky is bluer and the grass is greener than you've ever seen it. You rub a hand over your eyes, then pull away in surprise. It's flat too! You look at your body. You're wearing your regular clothes, but they are in a cartoonish style. Before you can start screaming, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up to find an anime guy above you.

"Are you lost or something?"

Now you start screaming. The man jumps back in shock, looking around himself wildly. "What?! What is it?!"

"You're…you're…and I'm…" You stop screaming to start hyperventilating.

"Whoa, dude! Calm down. You're gonna pass out." You glance warily at the anime man as he slowly approaches, laying a comforting hand lightly on your back. His blue eyes close as he gives you a sheepish smile. "You're safe now. I'm here to protect you."

"Who are you?" you grit out, beginning to calm.

He blinks. "You been living under a rock? I'm America, of course!"

'America. Weird name.' Suddenly, you scramble back, eyes wide. "You're America?! Like, THE America?!"

"You can call me Alfred, but yeah." He smiles widely again.

'No. Way.' You look over him. Bomber jacket, glasses, even the cowlick standing straight up. It's Alfred F. Jones of Hetalia. It cannot be. There's no way. "What's your favourite food?"

"Uh…that's random. It's hamburgers, but -"

"What is going on?!" Worried that you might freak out again, Alfred takes a few steps forward with his palms raised.

"I was just heading over to the World Conference building when I saw you laying in the grass, not moving. So I came over here. What are you doing out here? The closest houses are almost a mile away."

"…I really…don't know…" You really didn't know how you got here. "Alfred, I don't…um…'belong' here."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm from somewhere…else."

"Did you come from Canada? He's right next door, so…" His whole face lights up. "Or are you an alien? I've only met one alien before. But you look like a person! Are you invading, or are you-"

"Whoa!" you interrupt his barrage of questions. "Calm down, Alfred. I'm a human, but…I guess you could say I'm from a different…dimension." You decide this sounds right considering the two-dimensional landscape. Alfred's excitement lessens only a touch.

"That's pretty awesome, but I guess we should find out just why you're here, then." He scratches the back of his head, thinking. You wait patiently. "I know!" he exclaims, grasping your hands. "Come with me to the conference! We can ask Iggy. He's the smartest person I know, but don't let him know I said that…"

You giggle a bit at Alfred's childishness as he drags you towards your destination. Then suddenly you realize just where you're heading. 'Wait…the World Conference?! All of the countries are going to be there! I'm going to meet everyone from Hetalia!"

~Time skip brought to you by WacDonald's. Avoiding commercial lawsuits and corporate infringement since 1993~

Alfred leads you through the main hall of the World Conference building to a set of huge mahogany double doors. Hearing voices on the other side, you assume, with a touch of guilt, that America is late. He lets go of your hand to swing open the doors.

"Sorry I'm late, guys, but you'll never believe what happened on my way here…" The doors swing shut behind him. Unsure of yourself, you wait for a moment. The voices inside sound kind of angry. America pokes his head out. "You coming?" You nod, then, after a deep breath, follow Alfred inside.

Immediately, there is a hush. A few of the countries stand politely (A/N: Manners state that men stand when a lady enters a room or sits at a table. Watch Harry Potter.), but most of them are too stunned to do much of anything. Even Greece is awake. The only sound in the room is Italy's soft "vee~" of surprise. You anxiously peer at the floor tiles.

Alfred wraps an arm around your shoulder. "Isn't she something? I found her on the way over here. And guys…" He pulls you forward a few steps. "She says she's from another dimension!"

China scoffs loudly. "Dat is preposterous. She is obviously just one of your citizens."

"I know my citizens, dude, and she ain't one of them."

"Well then," England begins, sipping a bit of tea. "What is her proof?"

"Pff! As if it isn't obvious…" America laughs out. The countries stare at him expectantly. He visibly withdraws a bit before peering at you awkwardly. "Actually, what is your proof?"

You think for a moment. A light bulb goes on in your head. "I know who each and every one of you are." England sits up.

"Then tell us who we are," he demands haughtily.

You gesture towards each man as you rattle off the list (A/N: Pointing is considered rude in quite a few countries.): "England, Arthur Kirkland; France, Francis Bonnefois; China, Yao Wang; Russia, Ivan Braginski; Canada, Matthew Williams; Greece, Heracles Karpusi; Austria, Roderich Edelstein; Germany, Ludwig Beilschmidt; Italy, Feliciano Vargas; Japan, Honda Kiku; and of course, America, Alfred F. Jones."

Once again, a hush overtakes the room. Alfred suddenly bursts out laughing as everyone else eyes you a little apprehensively.

"I told you guys!"

"How have you come upon all of our names?" Ludwig asks slowly, dangerously. You consider telling them the truth, but who would believe that they are all anime characters? Japan?

"I'd rather not say…" you mumble. "But rest assured that I haven't and will not use my information…against you, or whatever." This seems to placate Greece, who falls back asleep. "Look, I don't know how or why I got here, and that's really all I can tell you about my situation. Believe me; if I could tell you more, I would, if only to figure out this problem."

"Excuse-a me, but there is-a something you could tell us, miss." You look at Feliciano quizzically. "What's your name?" Alfred blinks and turns to you with another sheepish grin.

"I guess in my excitement I forgot to ask," he chuckles.

"Well…uh…my name is (your name)." You fidget a bit. An awkward pause fills the room as everyone wonders where to go from here.

"So," begins Greece, who has awoken for some reason. "If you don't know how or why you are here…" He spoke as if the words were being dragged from him. "…Then we can assume that you don't know how long you will be here either." You sat as everyone anxiously turned your way.

"I…uh…hadn't thought of that," you muttered, almost to yourself. Would you be stuck here forever? Would you ever get back to your world and dimension? But most of all, would you mind if you couldn't? "I don't know. What should I do?" America laughed again.

"You can just stay with one of us, of course!" The countries all stared at him, shocked, and began murmuring amongst themselves.

"We know absolutely nothing about her!" Yao Wang exclaimed. "How can we trust her in our homes?" You cringed a bit. You couldn't argue with that logic, but, still, ouch.

"Ve vill volunteer, zen…" Ludwig announced. "After we get finished discussing our previous business."

And so the meeting began. It was essentially like any meeting you had seen on the show; gobs of bickering between Arthur and Francis, America blurting out any thought that popped into his head, Canada being forgotten, and Germany finally snapping and yelling at everyone to quiet down and get to business, after which everyone did quiet down, only to slowly build back into a cacophony. Obviously, nothing got accomplished.

Alfred looked up at the clock and grinned. "Alright, everyone. This meeting is over!" Everyone begins to pack up their things and shuffle their papers. Worried that you might have been forgotten, you tug on America's sleeve.

"But what about…" you trail off, suddenly anxious.

"Oh, yeah! Hey, guys, hold up! We still need to figure out who's taking home a guest." He pulls you to your feet. "Any takers?"

Everyone turns in surprise as a single hand raises into the air…

A/N: Okay, guys and gals (presumably gals, but I'm not here to judge), here's where the story gets interesting, yes? Welcome to *dundundunDUN* the Party Rockin' Uber Super Special International Amazing (or AWESOME for short) Choose-Your-Own Adventure fic. Russia, if you'll please…

IVAN/N: Da, I got it. The Bard is having the inspirations, so he/she is trying something new and exciting. In this fic, you'll get to choose ending that you want. Lucky you gets to choose which character is taking you home.

A/N: Spasibo, Ivan. Prussia, your turn…

GIL/N: Zis is ze easy part. All you have to do is pick ze character you vant, and jump to zat chapter, just like a CYOA novel. At ze end of zat chapter, you vill have one more choice, but ze Bard wants me to keep it a secret. SO PICK ZE AWESOME ME! KESESESESE!1!

A/N: Gilbert, get outta my story and take you're caps lock with you! Feel free to choose whichever character; the story's essentially the same for all of them, but I needed a little more wiggle room than "(Insert Country Here)" to keep the boys in character. You'll probably notice that there are several countries I didn't include. Sorry, I only included the ones that I felt comfortable writing for… And, as with any CYOA story, feel free to go back and choose a different character. I understand the indecisiveness.

Chapter 2: America

Chapter 3: England

Chapter 4: France

Chapter 5: Italy

Chapter 6: Germany

Chapter 7: Prussia

Chapter 8: Russia

Chapter 9: Spain


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